Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Music for the soul

Sensual Celibacy is all about flooding the senses with so much joy and ecstacy that you don't have time to whine and cry about not having a man. For bringing beautiful music back into my life, I must thank the talented girls of SugarStrings ( my daughter, Ayanna (14, cello), and my nieces Mira (9, viola/violin) and Adé (9, violin).

Music can help you stay sane while you're going it alone. Just make sure you're listening to music that uplifts you and doesn't constantly remind you that you're by yourself. Pop music is probably the worse type of music to listen to while you're single. It's designed to stimulate sexual feelings. In our situation, that's the worse possible thing. It can take you off your plan if you listen to too much of it.

It can be difficult to withdraw from certain types of music. I say withdraw because you can become addicted to music. I told a friend once who was having a hard time being single that she should stop listening to slow jams. If she could have, she would have hit me. She said, "Don't ask me to give up my slow jams." Well, then, you're always going to be stimulated and longing for something you don't have right now.

I would even go so far to say that you could get so stimulated that you might end up making some bad decisions, like having one night stands and accidental sex (the "I don't know how it happened" kind).

My daughter and I constantly talk about her favorite rap tunes because they are full of gratuitous sex. There's nothing in that music that promotes healthy relationships, love, marriage, or monogamy. In fact, it's just the opposite.

I listen to a lot of instrumental music--jazz, classical, and Old School because I don't want music to talk to me about having sex when I ain't getting none (you know what I mean?). Remember Barry White and the Love Unlimited Orchestra? Pop groups don't make instrumental tunes anymore. How come?

My latest musical passion is for a classical concerto by Brahms: the Piano Quintet in F minor, Op. 34 performed by the Berlin Philharmonic Octet ( Although it's in a minor key, it doesn't feel morbid or scary, like the theme from Psycho. It feels majestic. I've listened to this concerto so much that it's now ringing in my ears! But I dare you to listen and not feel uplifted and royal.

This kind of music reminds me that I'm a queen and just because I'm not with a man doesn't mean that I can't enjoy life to the fullest. If your music doesn't make you feel that way, maybe you should change your tunes!

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