Mixed messages

Several years ago, Toni Braxton appeared on the cover of Vibe magazine near butt naked. She claimed she wasn’t going to have sex until marriage. Many found this claim hard to believe considering that she was, well, butt naked.

Britney Spears claimed she was a virgin, and she was with Mr. Sexy Back when she said it. Justin outted her and told the world that Britney wasn’t a virgin and that he should know! Oddly, the more she claimed virginity the more clothes she took off. What’s up with that?

I actually sent Britney a copy of Sensual Celibacy, but I never heard from her. As Britney events have unfolded over the years, I realize she never read my book. If she had practiced even a couple of the abstinence strengthening strategies presented in SC she might have avoided marriage to Kevin. Oh well. I tried to help the girl!

Even Paris Hilton says she’s going without sex for a year. Then what? Nail every guy who comes to town?

Do we believe these overtly sexual women? Can you wear your sexiness on your sleeve and still claim to be practicing celibacy?

Technically yes. My definition of celibacy is “abstention from sexual intercourse” (SC, p. 19). Beyond that technicality, however, there’s a deeper emotional commitment that goes with being alone for awhile. This involves withdrawing from as many things as possible that trigger uncontrollable sexual desire and dangerous situations that make you vulnerable.

Can you still party (sexual dancing, crunking) and drink Cristal (removal of inhibitions) and stay strong in your commitment? Just something to think about…