Friday, November 14, 2008

Sex advice: celibacy!

I know, it sounds crazy, but celibacy is a perfectly legitimate practice to consider when dealing with sexual issues. There will be times in your life when you might just want (or need) a break. Sensual celibacy is about deciding when to begin and end a term of celibacy. Sensuality makes the practice enjoyable -- maybe not as hot as sex, but sweet nevertheless.

In fact, Sensual Celibacy was mentioned in The Times (UK) in the article, "Sex advice: ten things you need to know before you become celibate." Suzi Godson says that although my book is aimed at women, it's "relevant for men too."

The View: Is born again virginity realistic?

Friends, I have to be honest. I never did get the whole born again virginity movement. If it helps you, then great, but for me, it would only be pretending to be someone I'm not. All my sexual experiences, along with everything else that has happened to me over the years, made me what I am today.

On the other hand, I can totally understand born again virginity if the woman was raped or a victim of incest. If anyone deserves a fresh slate, these women do.

Anyway, the women of The View had an interesting discussion about the movement. You be the judge.

Monday, November 3, 2008

A GPS tracking system for your chastity belt (LOL)

Can you believe this new product ~ high tech chastity belts! The line, by Lucia Lorio, is called "Find Me If You Can." The underwear has embedded GPS uplinking units that a partner can track.

"'It is outrageous to think that men can buy this, programme it and give it to their partners and then monitor them,'" said Claudia Burghart, leader of a Berlin feminist group.

Oooo, how sexy. You've got a big hunk of machinery in your drawers!

Who would be fool enough to give a man that much power over them?

At $800 to $1100 and with the current economic crisis, that's sure some overpriced kinkiness!

Look, is selling my book Sensual Celibacy for a whole lot cheaper than some stupid mechanical underwear. Buy a copy today for a nice, sensual, no tech prevention aid!


She's proud to be a 36-year old virgin (hmmm...)

I read this article about Charlotte Baird and nearly fell off my chair. I don't know any adult who hasn't tried sex at least once, so I can't quite wrap my brain around someone who's gone so long without even kissing a guy.


Charlotte says she's taking a moral stand, and maybe I should accept her at face value. But I have to wonder if this is morality or sexual anorexia talking.

Some people just have a low (very low) sex drive. Some are asexual. Some could care less.

If Charlotte falls into any of those categories, then not having sex isn't a big deal. It's those of us who want a sexual relationship but make a decision to table sex until the situation is right that's making the courageous stand.

In the article, Charlotte discusses the idea of "preserving" herself until marriage. When I think of preserving, I think of pickling fruits and vegetables so they don't spoil. For some reason, I also think about trees in a petrified forest.

Maybe it's me. I admit I have strange notions sometimes.

At 50 years, I don't feel the need to preserve myself. I don't see my sex as being all that precious. During my childbearing years, it was, but now my heart is precious. I have a huge capacity to love and that has gotten me into trouble more times than I can count. My sex just happens to be connected to my heart, so celibacy works for someone strange like me.

I wonder how deeply a love can go when sex is not in the picture. That may sound strange coming from someone who practices celibacy, but I must admit, sex is always somewhere in my consciousness, especially if I'm talking to a man, out with a man, or thinking about a man. I wonder about him, what he looks like (down there) and how he kisses and makes love. I can't help it. I've wondered that about preachers from the pulpit and certain political figures. Maybe it's the old "don't think about elephants" and then all you can do is think about elephants. You want what you feel deprived of.

I don't like to knock anyone. I try and practice tolerance in all things. So I'll just say that I don't get being fully grown and a committed virgin. I do understand being grown, having sex with men who are no good for you, and then becoming wise through sensual celibacy!


Saturday, November 1, 2008

Off topic: race and the presidential race

Friends, in this blog about our sexuality, we may laugh, we may cry. But one thing's for sure, we have the right to state how we feel, no matter how controversial. Thank God for that freedom.

Over the past 8 years, I've stood idly by as our freedoms eroded under the Bush & Co. cabal. No more. Sometimes you've got to take a stand and state what you believe.

My sister sent the following video to me, and I nearly cried. As an African American woman of now 50 years, I've watched the tide of racism crest and fall over the years. But never have I seen such a blatant profusion of racism as now, during the presidential campaign of a bi-racial man named Barack Obama.

Just when I thought all was lost and there was no hope for peace between blacks and whites, this video came along to restore my hope. Some are predicting blood in the streets after the election because no matter what, some group will be pissed off with the outcome. But if Richard Trumka speaks for many, then we may be okay. My prayer is that no matter who wins, we can behave like civilized people and get busy with cleaning up the mess created by that Bush guy.

Richard Trumka, AFL-CIO