This has, without a doubt, been my hardest challenge. It's not that I need a man to make me whole, but I sometimes need that jolt of sexual connection to make me feel womanly -- and only a man can give it to me.
In the past I might have given into temptation. Never say never, but today I feel pretty strong in my celibacy practice. I don't want to give in to sex...unless the circumstances are right for me. No one can say what's right for you but you.
That's not to say that I don't get that much needed feeling of sexual connection in other ways. A couple of days ago I just happened to see a long-time friend. We used to date many moons ago. I've seen him off and on over the years, but our chance meeting a couple of days ago produced a surprising jolt of feeling.
I think he felt it, too, because he was doing that smiling-and-looking-at-the-ground thing.
We rushed into each other's arms, hugged warmly, and then said our pleasantries. We exchanged new numbers and then went on about the day.
We broke up for a reason, so I don't really want to revisit the past. However, he is and always was basically a good man. It's nice to know that my occasional jolts of sexual connection come from good men now, not the jerks that used to give me a buzz ages ago.