Sexonomics

With the cost of everything going up, I sometimes think how great it would be to share financial responsibilities with someone.

Back to reality. Money and sex are the 2 biggest reasons why couples fight and break up.

A couple of years ago I had a major recession of my own. Along with double knee replacement surgery, I had to sell my house. Times were hard. Would it have been better to go through that with someone? I don't know.

I've seen couples come through the fire stronger than ever, and then there are those who don't make it.

It would be awful to be with someone who doesn't have money in perspective, who allows it to rule his life. Can't you be generous and a good money manager?

Maybe the lesson is, whether alone or with someone, we can't let hard times defeat us. I feel the pain at the gas pump. Chicago has some of the highest gas prices in the country. But whenever I start feeling nervous, I remind myself that abundance is all around and that I'm in the flow. Even though it costs more to get gas, the car is still tanked up.

Labor of love

I love the story about Annie and Doug Brown who decided to try a great experiment in love: 101 days of sex. They found that making the commitment and sticking to it created wonderful intimacy in their relationship.

It's so easy to throw in the towel when it comes to relationships. That's why the divorce rate is so high and why so many singles opt for kickin' it and hanging out vs. making the commitment to make love work.

Celibacy makes sense when you're single and not yet partnered up. Sex makes sense when you're in a loving relationship and want to stay connected. Either way, solo or with someone, it's a labor of love.

Feeling womanly without sex

This has, without a doubt, been my hardest challenge. It's not that I need a man to make me whole, but I sometimes need that jolt of sexual connection to make me feel womanly -- and only a man can give it to me.

In the past I might have given into temptation. Never say never, but today I feel pretty strong in my celibacy practice. I don't want to give in to sex...unless the circumstances are right for me. No one can say what's right for you but you.

That's not to say that I don't get that much needed feeling of sexual connection in other ways. A couple of days ago I just happened to see a long-time friend. We used to date many moons ago. I've seen him off and on over the years, but our chance meeting a couple of days ago produced a surprising jolt of feeling.

I think he felt it, too, because he was doing that smiling-and-looking-at-the-ground thing.

We rushed into each other's arms, hugged warmly, and then said our pleasantries. We exchanged new numbers and then went on about the day.

We broke up for a reason, so I don't really want to revisit the past. However, he is and always was basically a good man. It's nice to know that my occasional jolts of sexual connection come from good men now, not the jerks that used to give me a buzz ages ago.