Monday, November 3, 2008

She's proud to be a 36-year old virgin (hmmm...)

I read this article about Charlotte Baird and nearly fell off my chair. I don't know any adult who hasn't tried sex at least once, so I can't quite wrap my brain around someone who's gone so long without even kissing a guy.


Charlotte says she's taking a moral stand, and maybe I should accept her at face value. But I have to wonder if this is morality or sexual anorexia talking.

Some people just have a low (very low) sex drive. Some are asexual. Some could care less.

If Charlotte falls into any of those categories, then not having sex isn't a big deal. It's those of us who want a sexual relationship but make a decision to table sex until the situation is right that's making the courageous stand.

In the article, Charlotte discusses the idea of "preserving" herself until marriage. When I think of preserving, I think of pickling fruits and vegetables so they don't spoil. For some reason, I also think about trees in a petrified forest.

Maybe it's me. I admit I have strange notions sometimes.

At 50 years, I don't feel the need to preserve myself. I don't see my sex as being all that precious. During my childbearing years, it was, but now my heart is precious. I have a huge capacity to love and that has gotten me into trouble more times than I can count. My sex just happens to be connected to my heart, so celibacy works for someone strange like me.

I wonder how deeply a love can go when sex is not in the picture. That may sound strange coming from someone who practices celibacy, but I must admit, sex is always somewhere in my consciousness, especially if I'm talking to a man, out with a man, or thinking about a man. I wonder about him, what he looks like (down there) and how he kisses and makes love. I can't help it. I've wondered that about preachers from the pulpit and certain political figures. Maybe it's the old "don't think about elephants" and then all you can do is think about elephants. You want what you feel deprived of.

I don't like to knock anyone. I try and practice tolerance in all things. So I'll just say that I don't get being fully grown and a committed virgin. I do understand being grown, having sex with men who are no good for you, and then becoming wise through sensual celibacy!


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