Thursday, September 18, 2008

Pick-up strategies: good or evil?

I have a friend who considers himself quite the lady's man. Like all narcissists, he loves the sound of his own voice, believes only he has the answer to the world's problems, and is bored with the opinions of others.

He talks about himself all the time. Like Suede on this season's Project Runway, he refers to himself in the third person. A woman can't get a word in edgewise.

Believe it or not, such men can be charming, and I admit to keeping him around for entertainment purposes. But I can only take him in small doses. I've told him more than once that while he may be brilliant, he knows nothing about women.

Which brings me to the purpose of today's post. How would you feel if you discovered that a guy you were interested in had attended a "school" that teaches men how to pick up women?

Remember that VH1 reality show, The Pick-Up Artist?

Let's say you're going out to a club, a book store, or church social. You'll probably spend some time making yourself attractive before you go. You may read a few lines from my book Sensual Celibacy or team up with a friend to make sure you don't have accidental sex.

So can we be mad at guys for wanting to develop their skills? Aren't we both, women and men, preparing ourselves to make a connection? Aren't these preparations designed to ensure that things go the way we want?

Radaronline posts an interesting article about a school that teaches guys pick-up techniques. Yes, there are probably many sleazeballs that use the approach for evil and not good. But there are some men out there, good men, who are shy. They never get a break because their more verbose brethren have bedazzled all the women.

Read the article and decide for yourself. I think learning social skills is not a bad thing. Especially if it makes me stop and listen to a man, a good man, I might not have considered before.

How do you know if the man is good or not? Only time will tell, which is why abstaining from sex is critical. The beauty of sensual celibacy is that this mental mindset will help you discern the toads from the princes.

1 comment:

NickyJett said...

First off I'm thrilled to read you are promoting your book again. It was great then - and it's great now! Every now and again I will practice abstinence and I always remember the wonderful lessons I gleaned from your book. In fact it's one of the books I have listed on MySpace as a paradigm shifting 'read! Go head my friend. I'm going to pimp you on myspace!