Friday, October 10, 2008

For love or money?

We all know that 2 of the top reasons why couples split is because of sex and money.

We're seeing a similar split in our society, as reflected in the national campaign for president. Regardless of what the polls may say about who's in the lead, the reality is, the country is split on how to handle the economic mess.

So lately I've been thinking about what I would do if presented a choice between 2 men. Man #1 makes a decent living, and Man #2 is a multi-millionaire.

Let's say I like them both equally, more or less. What would be the deciding factor? Would I chose the multi-millionaire or the middle-class guy? Would it make a difference if I'm making my own money? Would I chose differently during better economic times?

An even better question: Not that I want to be single forever, but I kind of like my single life. Up until now, I've felt that unless a man can offer me a better life than my single one, what's the point?

Would I chose to marry because I was uncertain about my own economic future and I thought one of the men could provide more security and safety for myself and my children?

Is this a moral or practical issue? As a practical issue, can a woman make a decision about love and finances without feeling like a prostitute?

Don't men choose mates based on their belief that a woman will help them build their empire? What's the difference?

Whether wealthy, middle-class, or poor, in a capitalistic society, love and money are intertwined. Back in the day, a woman had few options. She married the man her father told her to marry. Today, we make our own decisions, but are we any smarter about how we go about choosing a mate?

Why is it wrong to consider financial issues along with love and romance? Does that make a woman a gold digger or just smart?

I just made 50 yesterday, and I guess in my older age I'm getting more and more practical, because in my 20's, I would have thought this line of reasoning was an abomination.

Today, I know better. I know how medical issues can make going it alone extremely difficult. Or how the loss of a job can devastate a family if there's no second income to rely on.

One of my suitors and I talked this morning, and he got perturbed because I'm adamant about 2 things in my older age: no sex until marriage (or at the very least a solid contract) and no more broke relationships. I know that sounds cold and calculating, but having married for love and having had sex for love in my younger years I learned that love (or what passes for it) doesn't guarantee that a couple will stay together. But if they have a nest egg and are united in their financial vision (plus love), they stand a good chance.

I wonder, with the economic mess reducing the cash values of pension plans and salaries, how couples will fare.

And I wonder if single women like me will, because of economic hard times, begin to change their approach to love in the future.


Anonymous said...

Happy Belated Birthday! Here's to the next 50!

Donna Marie Williams said...

Thank you much!!
Donna Marie